Jul 17, 2009
Top 10 Signs You Are SO Done With This Pregnancy
10. You walk by a homeless man who whistles, “You’re obviously carrying twins! Congrats!” (Thank you for that, Mr. Homeless Man. Did wonders for my ego.)
9. You have permanently changed your address to “The Bathroom, Los Angeles, CA”
8. You’ve replaced chugging water with chugging a delicious concoction of spicy castor oil, pineapple juice and raspberry leaf tea. A spicy castpineberry-tini, please! Mmmmm.
7. You can practically hear your baby yell, “Not in front of ME, you pervert!” any time you so much as think about having sex.
6. You can practically hear your husband sigh, “Um, do we HAVE to?” any time you so much as think about having sex.
5. You find yourself having long, tearful conversations with your pre-maternity wardrobe: “We WILL be reunited one day, my long lost friends. Oh yes, one day.”
4. You actually RELISH the thought of getting painful, drop-to-your-knees-in-screaming-agony labor cramps.
3. You would be richer than Oprah if you had a dollar for every time somebody said, “It feels like you’ve been pregnant FOREVER!”
2. You have added Trojan condoms and Ortho Tri-Cyclen to your baby registry.
1. In a particularly disturbing turn of events, you’ve gotten tired of waiting to see what the baby looks like in her cute clothes… so you TRY THEM ON YOUR STOMACH:
“Awwww. Doesn’t she just look PRECIOUS in her onesie?”
lainey
says:
she looks adorable
July 17th, 2009 at 4:48 pm -ROn
says:
HAHA! #6 is WRONG! When my ex was pregnant, it was about 5 or 6 times a day and I couldnt get enough! Best three weeks EVER were the last three or her pregnancy! Tell Mr Candy to suck it up!
July 17th, 2009 at 6:11 pm -Sharon
says:
Baby registries should indeed include things you will need for yourself once baby is here. Like the means to prevent another pregnancy. I recommend Birkenstock Sandals as a healthy, eco-friendly means of birth control!
July 17th, 2009 at 8:32 pm -Jenn F.
says:
C’mon, Baby Girl. Let her get this over with. I’m getting all anxious way up here in Toronto. If the anticipation is getting to me, how the hell do you think your Mom feels? Quick fast easy birth! Let’s go!
July 18th, 2009 at 12:21 pm -