D-Day
Jul 28, 2009 | Filed Under: Candy's Column | Tags: No News
It’s arrived: my due date. And, sadly, I feel better than ever this morning. Well-rested. Pain-free. Energetic. Ugh.
What’s a pregnant chick gotta do to get some CRIPPLING, KNIFE-IN-THE-SIDE, BABY-PUSHING CONTRACTIONS ’round here?!
When my doctor entered the room at my 40-week checkup yesterday, she looked at me and sighed, “I can’t believe you’re here. I really can’t.” Yes, folks, I’m even letting down my DOCTOR. An examination Down Under revealed that I’m now 3 cm dilated — heartening progress — and Baby Girl is so low that she’s practically sticking out her hand and waving to us.
“Hi, guys! I’m just going to stay in here till all that Michael Jackson and Gates-gate nonsense passes, okay?”
Can’t say I blame her. If I could hide out in someone’s uterus to avoid more “BREAKING: MICHAEL JACKSON REMAINS DEAD” news, I probably would, too.
Because we do not yet have an actual baby with whom to celebrate D-Day, I am taking my dad out for the next-best thing: his first-ever manicure. Of course. The birth of gorgeous hands! Mom and Mr. Candy are going to be so jealous when they see the close-up shots of us holding Baby Girl with our beautifully manicured cuticles…
Cutting cuticles. Ick. That kind of pain has got to be right up there with labor, right? …Right?! Hey! Why do I feel Baby Girl belly laughing down there…?
Jenn
says:
I walked around for a MONTH at 3cm dialated, mucous plug long gone, etc. etc. I was finally induced 14 days AFTER my due date with a 10 lb “little” girl. Good luck. All I can say is make a deal with your ob that if you have another he/she will induce you at least ON due day!
July 28th, 2009 at 10:41 am -Chickpea
says:
When you take him for the manicure, get a pedicure yourself and ask them to try to find a nerve that triggers labor. Maybe you’ll get lucky!
July 28th, 2009 at 10:50 am -Cowgirl in the Sand
says:
Hang in there! Maybe you’ll be one of the lucky ones who doesn’t have any early labor and goes straight to active labor. Although I’m not sure I’d call that “lucky” (that’s what happened with me for my son), but at the very least, it’s relatively quick!
July 28th, 2009 at 10:51 am -J-Force
says:
I remember my due date came and passed without so much as a cramp. I went to a salon to get my hair cut and got the usual ‘so when is your baby due?’. When I told her he was a week overdue already, the lady couldn’t cut my hair fast enough because she was afraid I’d go into labor right then and there. Seriously people, life is not an episode of Grey’s Anatomy. Birth is hardly a ‘blink and you miss it’ type of event. But you’ll find out about that soon enough.
July 28th, 2009 at 11:28 am -Candy
says:
@Jenn — Yikes! My OB is very pro-induction for me at this point, so it may happen this week. We’ll see.
@Chickpea — Got the pedicure, but I giggle like a ticklish loon every time someone rubs my feet so we didn’t find the Magic Nerve, unfortunately.
@Cowgirl — I hope that IS the case at this point!
@J-Force — That’s *exactly* what happened at the salon today. Freaked everyone out when I told them I was due today. A hot firefighter was getting his nails done and said we could call the Fire Department down the street if I happened to pop while I was at the salon. Would have made for a great story, but alas…
July 28th, 2009 at 12:46 pm -Alex
says:
CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR NEW BABY GIRL! Just read your Twitter post!
July 29th, 2009 at 3:34 pm -lainey
says:
Congrats to Candy & Mr. Candy! Love the name!
July 29th, 2009 at 4:11 pm -desiree fawn
says:
Awe, I remember when my due date came and went — my daughter was born at home, 6 days later ^_^ 9lbs 6oz! Perfect!
July 29th, 2009 at 4:23 pm -I thought I honestly couldn’t wait another moment!
Eize
says:
Congratulations, Candy! Love the pedicure in the Facebook pic.
July 29th, 2009 at 7:20 pm -