37 Weeks
Jul 8, 2009 | Filed Under: Candy's Column,Marcy & Matty
75% effaced? Check. A little dilated? Check. Mucus plug ejected? Check. Baby engaged? Check. Increasingly strong, but not regular contractions? Check.
Baby shortly on the way…? Who the hell knows. Certainly not my doctor, who informed me this morning at my 37-week checkup that I could “go into labor on my way out the door,” OR… not until my due date of July 28th. Helpful!
After all the recent bodily progress, Mr. Candy and I have been on high alert here at the Labor Watch Center. As have our families. It’s gotten to the point that I don’t want to call my mom because I know she’ll be disappointed I’m bothering her with no baby news of note.
“Helloooooo?”
“Guess what, Mom? I just won the Nobel Peace Prize for single-handedly negotiating the Israeli–Palestinian peace accord!”
“So still no sign of baby?”
“No, but –”
*CLICK*
Yesterday was particularly fun, as a constant pelvic pressure forced me to walk around hunched over in pain. Yes! I was the Hunchback of West Hollywood! It’s as though the baby is knocking on the door. With her head. And no real game plan beyond that.
“Knock, knock.”
“Who’s there?”
“Baby.”
“Baby who?”
“Baby I’ll see you later, maybe I won’t!”
SEE WHAT THIS BABY IS DOING TO ME, PEOPLE? I’M TELLING KNOCK-KNOCK JOKES, for crying out loud! They didn’t warn me about this horrific third-trimester symptom in “What to Expect What You’re Expecting.”
So, yeah, we’re ready to meet Baby Girl, but it appears she may not want to come out until it’s time for the nail-biting finale of “The Next Food Network Star.” (And who can blame her?) This could actually be a good thing, impatience aside, because today’s ultrasound revealed her weight to be on the lower side at 5 lbs., 7 oz. However, their weight estimates are about as accurate as their labor day predictions. “She’s five-and-a-half pounds — give or take five pounds!” And truly hard to believe, given there has not been a single newborn in my family that’s debuted under 9 lbs.
I kid you not.
Even I was sort of reprimanded for having gained “only” 21 pounds. Me! Feeling guilty about NOT GAINING ENOUGH WEIGHT! As this — as well as that time my mom actually REPLIED to my e-mail instead of CALLING me back — prove, there is indeed a first for everything. I was all, huh? I graze on the contents of our pantry all day long. I don’t know what more I can do. The doctor did note that, because I’m tall and am carrying almost all of the baby weight in my belly, it’s probably not anything to worry about.
Easy for HER to say.
She’s not the middle-heavy inspiration for Hasboro’s new Weeble-Wobble Playset: Baby Bumpus Wobbleworks.
Eize
says:
At least you don’t have random strangers come up to you to rub your tummy and claim that it’s for good luck. A friend of mine experienced that when we took our licensure exams years ago and she was about 7 or 8 months pregnant with her son.
July 8th, 2009 at 5:10 pm -Candy
says:
Hope the baby roundhouse-kicked the stranger.
July 8th, 2009 at 5:26 pm -Cowgirl in the Sand
says:
You look great! And congrats on reaching full-term too. Don’t you just love how much of an exact science labor & delivery is? At my 36wk appt with my son, my OB said, “Looks great — you probably won’t go into labor for at least another couple weeks. Or you could go tonight. Who knows.” I went into labor the next day.
With him, I also had a woman (the mother-in-law of a friend) who wrapped both hands around my belly and followed me around a party, refusing to let go until she could feel the baby kick. I was ready to show her how Mommy kicks.
July 8th, 2009 at 6:09 pm -Gina from Oregon
says:
The further along you are in your pregnancy, the less accurate the ultrasound estimte will be. My son weighed 6lbs 2oz according to an ultrasound 3 days before he was born-at 7lbs 14oz!
July 8th, 2009 at 6:36 pm -Alex
says:
I’m 37 weeks with no. 4…given up on the doctors cos they have absolutely no idea. When it comes out, it comes out. Hopefully not today, it is the weekend. BUT you will definately NOT see an Alien re-enactment.
Oh I didn’t realise something has been kicking me in the spleen for the last four months. I’m just really, really bloated. Whatever.
July 17th, 2009 at 3:18 pm -ChelleS28
says:
I too am expecting, and unless she comes sooner, my dd will be born July 29th. Congrats!!
July 19th, 2009 at 5:24 pm -Debutante
says:
Wow. This really went fast ! Not for you probably, but it seems like yesterday you announced your new “development”. Congratulations and I hope the rest of the pregnancy flies by !
July 21st, 2009 at 12:16 pm -