What I Learned on My “Babymoon”

May 25, 2009 | Filed Under: Candy's Column,Featured | Tags: Babymoon, Lessons Learned

1. I should leave the “hand-on-hip” pose to Paris Hilton.

2. Imminent parenthood does not mean increased maturity. Mr. Candy spotted these structures on our way to La Jolla and squealed…

… “Boobie buildings!”

3. Baby Mamas get no respect, man. While we were in the midst of a fancy-schmancy dinner at our hotel, the restaurant manager came over and made a big deal out of my pregnancy — and proceeded to give Mr. Candy TWO FREE GLASSES OF WINE to celebrate. Um, hello, my stomach has expanded to the size of a baby elephant so I can grow a LIFE in my womb. Where’s MY free dessert?

4. Ladybugs have no qualms about copping a feel without even buying you a drink first.

5. NEVER park under the popular seagull hang-out:

Crap Car

4 Responses to “What I Learned on My “Babymoon””

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Cowgirl in the Sand says:

Warning to Mr. Candy: If Mama Candy chooses to breastfeed, boobies will lose a lot of their appeal… And Mama Candy will use that picture to illustrate how she feels when her milk comes in. Which should result in a nice soothing foot rub for her, since you’re so relaxed after your free glasses of wine.

(Don’t worry, the boobie-as-utilitarian-tool phase doesn’t last forever, as evidenced by the number of people who find themselves having more than one child.)
May 25th, 2009 at 8:23 pm - Reply
Gina from Oregon says:

That car is hysterical!! Can you imagine coming back to that? Poo Poo Bear approves.
May 26th, 2009 at 11:34 am - Reply
Moonlight Dancer says:

Those breast are about as real looking at Betheny’s from the Real Housewives of NY
May 26th, 2009 at 3:52 pm - Reply
Sasha says:

I just have to say that, when I lived in LA, I couldn’t ever POSSIBLY do the drive down to San Diego without screaming “It’s the boobies!” Every. Single. Time. Your husband is in good company.
June 10th, 2009 at 2:10 am - Reply