May 18, 2009

Recession Yields Mo’ Babies, Mo’ Babies, Mo’ Babies

Many Americans are out of jobs, out of health insurance and out of money right now — so what better time for them to have a baby?!

Obstetrician Natalie Leibensperger tells USA Today that she has been witnessing a baby boom since the economy has crashed.  In fact, she has seen as many as 23 new patients in a week, all of them pregnant.

Welcome to the club, ladies!

“They’re probably having sex more, not having outside activities that they’re doing instead,” the good doctor said.  “It brings people closer together.  It’s a huge stress relief for them.”

Until, of course, they realize diapers alone cost $2000/a freakin’ year.

Another reason people are having mo’ babies is because they do not want to spend their pennies on OB-GYN visits and birth control.  (See above re:  diapers.)  Too bad there’s not a place called Planned Parenthood that offers free exams and contraception — oh wait, there is!  And it was my best friend in college!

Not that I, um, had sexual relations before marriage.  *AHEM*  Perhaps you should stop reading this site, Dad.