Dane Cook Fights Eviction with Ol' "I Need Belushi's Ghost!" Defense
Sep 22, 2008 | Filed Under: Celebrities,Pop Culture | Tags: Busted, Sign You're a Douchebag
If there’s one thing I love more than waiters who take my drink before it’s finished, it’s people who don’t pick up after their dogs. So imagine my delight when I heard “comedian” Dane Cook is actually being evicted from his apartment building because of repeated dog doo-doo offenses — and, even better, Dane is arguing that he can’t possibly leave because his career is dependent on the spirits of John Belushi and Steve Martin that live in the building.
Oh, puh-lease. Who hasn’t used that ol’ defense before?
Dane claims he only rented the apartment in the first place because his heroes, Belushi and Martin, once lived in the same complex, and according to the court documents filed in L.A. County Superior Court, he would suffer serious “mental and emotional” damage — and his career would crumble — if he was forced to leave.
Dane states in the documents:
“I know that the presence of those that have lived there before me affects me deeply and provides me with inspiration. In the same way that writers can get writer’s block, comedians can really easily run out of ideas and ‘stories’; I am extremely frightened that this will happen to me if I am forced to move out of my apartment. I’ve seen it happen to other comics, that something interferes with their connection to their creative muse, and it’s destroyed careers.”
In related news, people living in Martha’s Vineyard have reported a minor tremor believed to be John Belushi rolling over in his grave from being the “inspiration” for Dane’s comedic efforts.
Dances with Poodles
says:
Douche Cook!!
September 22nd, 2008 at 2:32 pm -Exyank
says:
The spirit of Steve Martin? Uhm, isn’t Steve Martin still alive?
You know, anyone who believes that their career depends on them being able to commune with the spirits of dead (and living!) comedians deserves to have their career fail.
September 22nd, 2008 at 9:36 pm -Vern
says:
Maybe he’s trying to suck the life out of Steve Martin the way he sucks the life out of his movies.
September 22nd, 2008 at 11:24 pm -Darth Paul
says:
I guess he’s biting off the ‘spirit’ of other comedians just like he bites off their material. He makes me sick to my as$, and I hate him.
September 23rd, 2008 at 6:08 am -Moonlight Dancer
says:
If it is so important, why doesn’t he channel a dog walker and just pick up the poop?
September 23rd, 2008 at 7:54 am -jojodancer
says:
R.I.P. STEVE
September 23rd, 2008 at 8:30 am -