How a Mexican Jumping Bean Got Me to Breastfeed
May 18, 2012 | Filed Under: Candy's Column | Tags: Breastfeeding
Few things get women more impassioned than the breastfeeding versus formula discussion — except, perhaps, the equally important “Summer Neon Trend: Yay or Nay?” debate raging on a number of style sites right now. Although The Laughing Stork is generally not a place where mothers come for advice on such meaningful matters (but rather a place with pictures of expressive penis cakes), with all of the craziness in the media right now, I thought I owed it to readers to finally take a stand and share a page from my experience. I cannot overstate just how much I mean this:
Have fun with neon! Pair it with a subtle piece and you will rock it.
As far as the other topic goes, well, I am still not here to tell you what to do. Nobody should be — even though many will try to be. When I was pregnant with Skye somebody actually asked me, with this very phrasing, if I was “pro-breastfeeding or pro-formula.” “Pro-feeding my child,” I huffed, growling at the divisive wording of his question. I was planning on feeding formula to my baby at that point and had no desire to encourage people’s opinions about my choice. My choice. I had done all of the research, knew what I was and wasn’t comfortable with, and had my husband’s support of whatever I wanted to do. That was all I needed. End of story. Done deal.
I ended up nursing my daughter until she was 18 months old.
I’d like to relate my experience for those pregnant women who are on the fence about breastfeeding, women who may be confused by the extreme images and stories being portrayed in the media right now. If I nurse my baby boy, will he end up on my teat through college? they may be wondering. (Answer: No. It’s other girls’ teats you’ll need to worry about at that point.) Or they may be fretting: If I give formula to my child, will she end up overweight, slow, sickly and just really weird? (Answer: No. I was formula-fed and look at — okay, bad example.) I had, and continue to have, an interesting journey when it comes to nursing, so here it is for those pregnant women out there in need of a breastfeeding story without an agenda. Without any pictures of a kid nursing from a step-stool (you know, as kids always do…*AHEM*). Without any upsetting surveys about the acceptability of neon.
Just my experience. For whatever it’s worth.
Clip of the Day: Toddlers & Tiaras’ Contestant Represents Africa…By Looking Like a Real Housewife of Atlanta
May 17, 2012 | Filed Under: Television, Video | Tags: Clip of the Day, Toddlers & Tiaras
If Toddlers & Tiaras is known for anything, it’s the education offered to contestants and viewers. (Seriously, I had no idea what a “flipper” was until I watched this show. My IQ has increased ten-fold!) With its impressive educational bent, it’s no surprise that in last night’s episode featuring the “America’s Genuine Jewel” pageant that there was a “World Wear” competition, in which the girls picked a country to represent with their ensembles and routines. I mean, just behold the historical accuracy of eight-year-old Damitri’ana’s performance representing Africa, for which she “was gonna look like a Real Housewife of Atlanta” and do “flips” and “lots of stuff,” as she believes Africans do.
“It was definitely different,” noted one judge.
Later, Damitri’ana’s mom Quiana defended her daughter’s costume. “It does have feathers,” she said, “and in Africa that’s what they wore if you watch [INSERT AIR QUOTE] ‘History’ [END AIR QUOTE]!”
Hard to argue with a “history” watcher.
These Vasectomy Cakes Are a Cut Above the Rest
May 17, 2012 | Filed Under: Food | Tags: Vasectomy
Warning: Cake #6 is not entirely safe for work or for people with aversions to penises with faces.
Filed Under “Seriously?!”: Aishwarya Rai Ridiculed in India for Not Losing Baby Weight Fast Enough
May 17, 2012 | Filed Under: Celebrities | Tags: Aishwarya Rai, seriously?
I used to think David Hasselhoff was our most cringe-worthy export, but no…! Turns out, it’s our expectation that celebrities return to a size zero weeks after giving birth (coincidentally, also see my post below). Unfortunately for Bollywood star, former Miss World and ridiculously beautiful woman, Aishwarya Rai Bachchan, that expectation has led to some really nasty criticism of her appearance – from fans, the media, blogs, what-have-you — just six months after giving birth to daughter Aaradhya.
In an especially cruel example, a site posted a video of the actress, juxtaposing images of her pre- and post-baby — overlaid with the sound of ELEPHANTS trumpeting. Get it? How clever! Making me lose even more faith in humanity, the clip has been viewed more than a half-million times. (It was such a fantastic concept that other sites have followed suit, with similar view counts).
“She is a Bollywood actress and it is her duty to look good and fit,” one video commenter sniped. Another suggested she “needs to learn from people like Victoria Beckham who are back to size zero weeks after their delivery.”
Victoria Beckham, who orders plates of DRY LETTUCE for dinner. A healthy role model for all new moms, for sure. Heck, I think Aishwarya should take it a step further and order empty plates for dinner! Because being skinny takes precedence over being a happy and healthy mom.
Try not to take their misguided opinions to heart, Ms. Rai. After all, these are the same people who also bestowed David Hasselhoff with the “Bollywood International Star of the Year” award.
The Five Stages of Post-Baby Weight Loss
May 16, 2012 | Filed Under: Satire | Tags: Post-Childbirth, Post-Pregnancy
If we were to believe the covers of celebrity gossip rags, then all women magically shed their baby weight within a month and parade around in a bikini shouting, “I GOT MY BODY BACK, B*TCHES!” The reality of the post-baby weight loss journey, however, isn’t always so easy. (Although it sometimes is filled with profanity.) For those wondering what to expect when it comes to tackling those pregnancy pounds, here is a clinical look (by Dr. Candy) at the Five Stages of Post-Baby Weight Loss:
Click on image to enlarge
10 Ways That Teething is Like Being Pregnant
May 16, 2012 | Filed Under: Top 10 Lists | Tags: Baby, Teething
Although he is only eleven months old, somehow our little guy has been cutting his top teeth for, oh, approximately nine years. Which got me to thinking…you know, teething isn’t all that different from being pregnant. Which got me to posting…The Top 10 Ways That Teething is Like Being Pregnant.
