“Modern Family” Wisdom: 10 Phil-isms to Live By

phil-modern-familyIt’s that time of year when we welcome the best season of all; I am, of course, talking about the Fall TV season.  Woo-hoo!  To get us properly excited about tonight’s premiere of one of my favorite shows, Modern Family, I’ve rounded up the top 10 “Phil-isms” to live by:

 

  1. “Always keep the rhythm in your feet and a little party in your shoulders.”
  2. “When life gives you lemonade, make lemons. Life will be all like ‘Whaaat?!’”
  3. “If you love something, set it free… unless it’s a tiger.”
  4. “I always felt bad for people with emotionally distant fathers; it turns out I’m one of them. It’s a miracle I didn’t end up a stripper.”
  5. “I’ve always said that if my son thinks of me as one of his idiot friends, I’ve succeeded as a dad.”
  6. “The most amazing things that can happen to a human being will happen to you, if you just lower your expectations”
  7. “Claire likes to say ‘you can be part of the problem or part of the solution.’ But, I happen to believe you can be both.”
  8. “I am brave. Roller coasters? Love ‘em. Scary movies? I’ve seen Ghostbusters like 7 times. I regularly drive through neighborhoods that have only recently been gentrified. So yeah I am pretty much not afraid of anything.”
  9. “Always look people in the eye, even if they’re blind. Just say ‘I’m looking you in the eye.’”
  10. “A Realtor’s just a ninja in a blazer. The average burglar breaks in and leaves clues everywhere. But not me. I’m completely clueless.”

Texts from My Cats

It’s the question every kitty parent asks herself at some point:  Are my cats mature enough — and responsible enough — to have their own cell phone?  Well, Mr. Candy and I finally caved to the cats’ increasingly adamant demands and bought them a joint phone, in hopes that learning how to share such a device will also teach them how to better share their nightly Meow Mix.  (Yeah, right.)

I’ve decided to share the texts I receive from those crazy cats (lack of opposable thumbs, be damned!) in a column I’ve creatively named, “Texts from My Cats.”  Here is the first of many: